Free-Write

  It was Christmas eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac at Lindbergh field. I sat slouched on a lumpy chair in the lobby waiting for someone whom no longer stood waiting for me. The chair at this point had become impossible to be in, it use to be new and plush. I arose from the chair and wandered down the corridor. I remembered how our hands melted together as we walked down this very same hall three Christmases ago. I stopped and glanced out the window to peer into the courtyard in the front of the tarmac. I still see you sitting there, waiting, why couldn't I drop theses memories that haunted me.
  It was at this tarmac 3 years prior that my boyfriend and husband to be waited for me here. I was running late because of all the damn traffic. He decided he'd take a cab because it was Christmas after all and he wanted to see me, and I wanted nothing more than his embrace. It had been so long since id last been held by him. It turned out that it was an accident. A greyhound bus slid sideways. The taxi cab side swiped and thrown into the woods. There were no survivors.
Every Christmas since then 1 show up exactly at 5:00 wishing I hadn't been late.

Self-Deprecation

   I'm always a very protective person of my animals. Being a lover of all living things, I think I can give myself that label although sometimes its to a fault. It makes my skin crawl when I hear of people abusing animals, when all I want to do is save them. I also hate when people say I have too many animals, or animals I'm not allowed to have. This makes me more angry than most likely intended. The first thought that comes to my head is, "Leave me alone I'm saving these animals, look at them! They're happy and healthy, go mind your own businesses." My anger is my weakness.

   I sat sinking into my living room couch, with an abstract mind, just admiring the sunny lazy day. I heard an ominous knocking on my door, disrupting my absent minded thoughts. (Now let me let you in on a little secret, I don't have visitors. So this knocking startled me and gave me a knot in the pit of my stomach) I got up off my smooshy couch and walked around into the kitchen and peered through the window to see who the guest of honor could be. Of course it was no other than my stout, paunchy, rude neighbor, to whom if you haven't guessed is one of my least favorite people on this planet. Id pondered what she could possibly want, excluding the memories of my rooster crowing at 3:00, then 4:00, then again at 5:00 in the morning, then I gave up and watched her descend down my rickety apartment stairs hoping shed fall. I went to the fridge and retrieved a glass of water and went to the living room windows so I could make fun of her waddling down my dirt driveway, although she was nowhere to be seen. I thought deeply as to how fast she could walk, and I knew it was nothing faster than a penguin. I opened my porch door to investigate as the warm summer air engulfed me, it was such a nice day. I crept onto the edge of the landing searching for the land whale. Then I spotted her, behind my dumpster, over my coop, TAKING PICTURES. This rude cynical miscreant was on my property, uninvited, taking illegal pictures of my rescued chickens. I felt my face heat and anger seethe from my body. I stood up, no longer caring if she saw me and said in a stern pissed off way.

““Can I help you?!”” She of course was startled which was good, I hoped shed faint of a heart attack.

““You'’re not allowed to have these animals”” she spit. Now I had hit top hatred for this woman. I would have given her free eggs if she asked nicely. “”I went to the town hall and you didn't’t pull a permit, you can’t have them”” she was defensive and I stood silent trying to hold my tongue. “”Also how many dogs do you have anyways? It’s a law you can only have four without a kennel license”” she still was on the warpath. So I spat right back.

““I have two females of my own, one foster dog, and my mom has one.”” I was melting with anger. “

“That’s FIVE dogs”” she stressed on five, she obviously had to go back to school if she can’t count that I actually only had four.

““Actually that’s four dogs, learn to count.”” I wish my words were bricks I could throw at her head. She was set aback by the comment. But then retaliated like a viper.

"Well, they bark". My blood instantly began to boil. The reason being, because they use to have a German Shepherd that in fact lived outside and barked 24/7 but my dogs that bark when they want to come in is such an inconvenience to her. I brought this up to her and she began to protest, although I interrupted her dead sentence and told her to stop talking because she was doing nothing but lying to herself and to me. That shut her up. Finally shed shut her flap of a mouth. "You can't have these chickens, you don't have a permit and they are farm animals" words at this point were practically firing out of my mouth at this point.

"Well what if I don't get rid of them? What will happen then?"

She responded nastily, "Well then the town will send you a notice, to make you get rid of them" I pondered my next thought, but still was pissed she was fighting with me on my property after taking pictures so I replied with a simple snooty

"Okay, well, I'll be waiting for that letter" I watched her turn and as I said awhile before, waddle slowly down my driveway. I was so angry I began to cry, because she was just an obnoxious neighbor, but I loved my chickens and I didn't want to get rid of them. Three weeks later and nothing from the town. Still, I decided it be in the best interest for my roosters and chicken to live with my mom to be free ranged and without having the threats of being taken away forever. My chickens are now happily living on the country side.

Sometimes our anger can get the best of us and can cause us to become a little crazy. Of course I still extremely dislike my neighbor, and I would like to see her fall so I could point and laugh. Although she did have a point about my noisy roosters in the morning. In the end we just need to take deep breaths and remember the world will not end; sometimes we have to assure ourselves and be our own rock in the world that threatens to blow us away like a singular balloon in a windstorm.